I am feeling lonely
the emptiness of my heart, yearning for love I never have had
I am feeling bored
The hollowness in my mind when everything fails to inspire, synapses firing, nothing connecting
I am feeling tired
The weariness of this life that repeats its self, it goes in circles, around and around, over and over and over

who are you?
the accumulation of a lifetime of thoughts,
feelings and experiences, the agonies more of them
and the ecstasies less of them,
the result of encounters past and present (and future?),
changed by the briefest contact with my fellow humans.
I am i
What do you want?
What does anyone want. purpose, direction,
reason. freedom to choose. success. fame (no pictures please).
No. I want to be a tree ALONE in my mind.
I want the intimate attentions of someone that loves me.
I want to share my most secret thoughts with she who cares for me,
I want to hold her tight in the night when my insecurities
and fears come knocking, denying me my sleep.
I want to care about someone,
for someone to feel for me.
I want to be loved.

A kiss blown across a dance floor at me.
A hug and a kiss before I go.
She does care,
But
An hour in the pouring rain (time got away),
She forgot. I waited alone.

Are you coming round today?
Of course I am
I could refuse but don't know how
Later
knock-knock
Even later
knock-knock
And still
knock-knock
I am so, so sorry

I am I feel,
I sometimes think that you forget

Come and see me.
Why?
She wants to see me
Can't tell you on the phone
Why not, what's so important?
Theres an empty pit in my stomach and a blackness permeating my body, my soul.
Just come and see me
I know what she will say and still I go anyway

and wait.
You think that you and I
no, don't think, hope, wish.
You aren't my type
You want people like him
You're to nice
Your head was on my shoulder and your arms hung limp
and you cried as you cursed every man
and I held you as I told you
They aren't all like that,
Everything will get better,
Why can't I meet men like you
You have
You will
You want men like him
You're to nice

Your head was on my shoulder and
your arms around my neck and we danced
See you can dance
Not very well
But you can
And I held you tight
I want you here

Things don't happen to me,
I happen to over people

And the woman I love's number
is currently unadvailible and has been for the last hour
and her other number will take my name and number
after the tone and get back to me, maybe,
and I'm lonely and hurt and empty and dead inside
and everything changed and broken
shards of the mirror litter the floor and my hand hurts
and my face shows nothing
the blocks are in place and no one can touch me now
and I will survive, there is only a few cracks in my heart hasn't
SHATTERED
yet not like last time

I waited for you
Where?
Why couldn't I see you?
When you didn't ring
I rang and rang and rang
I waited at home for you
But you weren't going home

I love you
Its got late
I want you here
Its gotten dark
I need you
And afterwards
I swear
I'm still alone
I love you

And I try to tell you
But I speak to fast
And you look at me
As words collide
In that way that you do
Into a tanged breath
And you don't understand
And it remains unsaid

Everyday is more of the same
The tedium and the grind
That never ends
Alone once again
With only my thoughts
For company

I travel this road
That is my life
With my hopes and dreams
Unfulfilled
No end in sight
I am, forever,
Alone